27 January 2017 0 Comments

Reality vs Frightful Shadows Part 2- Phobias

ghostly tracks

Throughout childhood really weird phobias crept out of nowhere and I found myself in some cases manipulated by odd fears. To this day, I hate cars or vehicles of any sort coming up behind me. It unhinges me to no end. If I hear cars coming I either run or hide in bushes. There’s a really interesting comfort in knowing I can’t be seen. As a child, I would outrun cars walking home or find hiding places along the way home. I actually had hiding places down in my head that I could run to at a moment’s notice along the way to and from school. To this day as an adult, I have to keep myself from jumping into bushes. I’m sure Michael wouldn’t appreciate trying to coax me out of our neighbor’s bushes so I do my best to control this strange habit.

I can’t sleep with a top sheet. I don’t like the feel of it and I don’t like my feet being confined  by the weight of the top sheet and the bedspread. I have memories of being on a table and having a thick, sticky, mucus like substance draped over me. It would get really tight and I wouldn’t be able to move. My arms and legs would be held so tight that I remember screaming with no sound coming out of me.

I could turn my head side to side and look around but I couldn’t get free and the more I struggled, the tighter it would become. It would feel like hours would pass with no one coming around. In some ways that was just as bad as what the Greys were doing to me. That was probably the worst torture of all and I believe to this day that the Greys and anyone else who does this, knows it. It’s part of the mind-screw that they implement starting at young ages. To this day if I find sheets on me, I panic.

Add to the above, the uncomfortable and stressful feelings I get being in an elevator or in a car on a highway that is slowed by traffic. When I was in Paris, France years ago, I was staying at a hotel that had a small and round elevator. It was big enough just for two people. I went up it the first time and by the time we hit the floor our room was on, I was a total mess. I couldn’t breathe, I had sweat coming off my forehead and the palms of my hands were sweaty and hot. When I got to my room, I looked in the mirror and was flushed from head to toe. I looked like I had been in the sun and was a cooked lobster. It took a few hours for me to get back to normal. I walked up and down the stairs after that.

Just recently Michael and I went to go get family from the airport and the roads were full of black ice. Traffic came to a standstill, three or four times and I found myself panicking, not being able to breathe. My palms were sweaty and I was stressed beyond my limits so much so that I  almost jumped out of the car. This particular phobia, I don’t understand unless I was taken away against my will multiple times in vehicles and I associate traffic and being confined in a car to this fear.

Like most abductees, I can’t sleep with the lights off. The darkness is too vast and so much can happen in the blackness of the room. Corners in a room become hiding places for uninvited creatures and closets become doorways into the unknown. I can feel spirits looking down at me, sucking my breath away or standing by my bed staring down at me. I have been touched and shaken even with the lights on but for me, the advantage is that I can see my surroundings. The days of sleeping in a dark room were over years ago.

I grew up in an average household with two older sisters. We were middle class America with hopes and dreams just like everybody else. Maybe that was a part of this phenomenon, the more American pie people are, the better they are for target practice and to experiment on.

How does the paranormal fit into all of this? Well, for some reason abductees attract the paranormal to them and I am assuming because we carry with us a very distinct energy or frequency that becomes altered through the abductions, it stays with us throughout our lives.

Sometimes the shadows will divulge what type of  intelligence is lurking in the corner. It doesn’t matter if it’s Alien, human or spirit, I don’t like uninvited guests especially when I’m at my most vulnerable. For Empaths like myself, we don’t like surprises so turning on the light seems to be whole heck of a lot easier than waiting for the darkness to emerge.

As Michael says, sleep tight but for those of you like me, keep the lights on.

1 April 2015 0 Comments

Dark Witches, Shapeshifters and Skinwalkers

Leyla Prayer

Part 3
Was this a skinwalker we were looking at or was it a shapeshifter? The question is the missing link of questions because it is so hard to distinguish between the two. All I know is that we made it to Phil’s truck and by the time he backed out of the dirt driveway, this huge dog was gone. We counted our blessings and a sigh of relief came over us as we began our descent towards the Valdez valley. By the time we got to the entrance of our camp, we were talking about what our next move should be. That’s when the unthinkable happened, the big, black dog was standing by the entrance to my teepee and I realized that this was a serious breach, one that I had to confront head on because this was my home.

Phil wanted me to stay in the truck but I had horses, chickens, goats and geese that were my babies and I wasn’t going to let this large beast attack any of them. Without thinking and purely on instinct, I jumped out of the truck before it stopped and ran towards the big black dog. I threw rocks and sticks, yelling at him that he was not welcome. He just stood there, surrounded by my geese who were in attack mode themselves. I walked about ten feet towards the large black dog and made it clear I would hurt him. He just stood there, staring at me so I immediately went into action; I ran at him and hurled a rock at his head. He jumped out of the rocks way and started to run back the way he came with me running after him. I looked like a mad woman but I didn’t care. I made it clear he was never to come back!

After I had calmed down, I realized that I had missed something. He obviously didn’t hurt any of the animals; he was trying to get my attention because he wanted to convey a message to me, one that I didn’t get because I was too busy being the defender of my animals. I think in his own way, he was telling me he needed help and I was too dense and twitterpated at the time to see it. I always regretted chasing him away after that. I did drive by the house, a few weeks later, looking for him but I never saw him again after that. I heard through the grapevine that the dark witch moved away and had the house up for sale shortly after our encounter. I was happy she was gone but I felt I let a lot of animals down by not doing something more for them. Did I encounter a dark witch or shapeshifter and was the big, black dog a skinwalker or was he just an animal that was a trapped soul? He was too intelligent just to be a big dog but then I have had one in a million dogs that were wise old souls. You be the judge here.

The skinwalker is obviously the most intrusive symbol in cult history. It has always been a mysterious and confusing figure in folklore or movies because the interpretation or definition regarding a skinwalker always seems a bit muddy. My view is that a dark witch is behind the scenes in some form or fashion, controlling a compromised or deceived, soul. Once the dark witch gains the upper hand, they can place their captive in the forefront of hostilities, hence creating the skinwalker. I don’t think the skinwalker is out by him or herself scaring the crap out of people. I think they are directed and controlled by a menacing force that uses them for personal vendettas and feuds. They have a contract that binds them through misfortune, misdeed or sacrifice. It’s a distinctive and detailed record kept in the bowels of the dark and decrepit shadows that waits for the ill-fated signature in blood, so that it can eternally envelop a soul and control it.

Here in lies the human quandary; it’s the undeniable appeal for power and conquest. Most of the people attracted to the dark realm, would rather be in control then be controlled. I doubt there are many who would by personal choice, choose to be subservient to someone else. If this is the case there is usually some coercion by some reticent malevolent ego, hidden from the mainstream populace. The shadows can keep secrets hidden ceaselessly and the unquestionable desires can hold their breath, waiting for those unsuspecting victims of circumstances.

The skinwalker is in some ways symbolic of their own delusional respite. It’s in their nature to think that some day they can walk away from their circumstances by self effacing and acquiescing to another’s will. The darkness doesn’t come without consequences, so once a person plays with fire, they become apart of the fervor that intensifies its malevolence.

I think that there are trapped souls like the birds and large black dog that are prisoners of black magic. I think there are dark witches who have their own agenda and vendettas, thus becoming physically twisted, distorted and perverted. They become what they put out and it eventually shows in their appearance. Shapeshifters can be either dark or light in intention and with the added gift of being a Medicine Man or Woman; they can heal people and speak with nature in her language, one that she shares intimately with them. If darkness is apart of the equation then, the shadows speak louder and the night sky cloaks ominous deeds. This does not mean that nature speaks to a dark witch who can shapeshift; the dark witch can project two images, one that is the illusion of intention, and the other which is their true objective. The skinwalker is the inevitable consequence of ill-fated circumstances, the dark and depraved outcome based on someone else’s nemesis or foes. It’s not so much that I don’t think that a skinwalker can’t be a skinwalker because they want to be or intend to be, it’s that their insanity comes from the constant push and pull of obscure sentiments and commands. They just don’t seem to do what they do by conviction alone.

Native American families who generationally have both the dark and the light counterparts understand that peace comes from the grey area in the middle. It’s not the most conventional place to be but one that at least both sides can exist on. With this being said, I have come to understand that if I seek out a dark witch, shapeshifter or skinwalker, they will willingly accept my invitation. I understand they are out there, and because of my Medicine path, I respect the dark but I am where the light resides by choice. Since the light and dark aspects of humans and nature are on opposite sides of the same coin, I have made sure I know both sides and respect my boundaries. It comes down to this, in order to appreciate the light, we must understand the dark.

“A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, the one I feed the most.”

George Bernard Shaw